


A Is For Avengers

by clockworkrobots



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-12
Updated: 2012-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-31 00:23:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/337848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockworkrobots/pseuds/clockworkrobots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the Avengers spend some quality time among talking puppets and Tony learns that L is for love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Is For Avengers

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a wonderful set of tumblr tags that suggested the Avengers go on Sesame Street.

  
As far as PR schemes went, Tony thought, this was probably the worst one Fury had ever come up with. Which was _saying something_ , considering the stunt he pulled last month with the Tony awards, which aside from the obvious pun even Tony enjoyed, don't ask. No really,  _don't ask_.

  
It's not that Tony's adverse to attention (obviously), because please, they don't write him down for textbook narcissism for nothing. If he was doing the gig alone he might not have minded, but he can't help but think this is all a bit absurd when he's standing shoulder to shoulder with _Elmo_ , as Bruce looms hulked-out beside them and Steve explains to the camera the concept of primary colours.

  
It also might've helped if he wasn't _massively_ hungover. In the Stark alphabet A is not only for alcohol, but _a fucking lot of alcohol,_  apparently.

  
(Which, yeah, he knows he probably should've realised last night that he would be on a _kids show_ the next morning, but with when a pleasant dinner out with the group turns into a hot girl hitting on Steve, one thing just leads to another okay.)

  
Tony hadn't grown up with Sesame Street like most--it's not like talking puppets teaching him to count to ten would have been very entertaining when he could already do differential equations by age 4. But he recognised it as a cultural institution in its own right, and maybe he could've cut Fury's scheme some slack if he didn't have to deal with Thor all day thinking the muppets were _real animals_. Thor's earnestness was often endearing, but a whole day of " _I did not know your world was home to such majestic beasts! Is this a common breed here?_ " as he meandered around set was enough to send his headache to a whole other level of painful.

  
And then there was Steve. (That's how this _always_ goes nowadays, isn't it?)

  
Who, despite having perhaps the best reason of all of them to kind of hate this (he'd had quite literally another lifetime of putting on shows for people, after all), seemed unsurprisingly to be handling it the best. Which, _fuck him_ (with all entendres implied), because Tony was supposed to hate this. And Steve, with his stupid smile and unflappable demeanour, was making it kind of difficult.

  
It really came to a head during one particularly painful conversation with the script supervisor:

  
"Now, Mr. Rogers, when Mr. Stark goes to reach for the cookie jar you say--"

  
"'Tony, no!'"

  
"Perfect!"

  
Tony waves his hands and backs off. "I'm sorry, I can't do this," he pleads as he hands his copy of the script back. "This, this is false advertising, Captain America does _not_ regulate my meals." Although Tony _does_ having a sneaking suspicion he conspires with Jarvis and Pepper.

  
"Tony--" Steve starts.

  
"And I feel like it's also a bit hypocritical of me to be teaching kids the practices of healthy eating when I don't exactly abide by any strict regimens myself--" Tony continues babbling.

  
" _Tony_. Can I talk to you for a second?" Steve eyes him sternly

  
"Yeah sure, great take guys," Tony grins, clapping the script supervisor on the back as he walks off to follow Steve, who after a couple paces behind the set proceeds to turn around sharply and glare at him.

  
"Tony, I don't know what has gotten into you lately, but--"

  
Whatever chastising thing Steve was going to say was quickly cut off by a surprise swarm of children. Tony only takes a moment to wonder _where the hell did they come from_ before he remembers they were supposed to shoot with a bunch later, but then that realisation too is soon replaced by staring at Steve. Or, not staring, Tony doesn't _stare_ , does he? He eyes critically. Critically analyses. So he _critically analyses_ Steve, bent down now, grinning as he signs autographs for some admittedly pretty cute kids. 

  
And fuck. Tony Stark wasn't exactly known to be a soft person. Hell, he parades around in a virtually impenetrable suit of armour on a daily basis, and if that isn't a metaphor for something he doesn't know what is. But if one were to _critically analyse_ the situation, one might say Tony Stark's heart melted upon that sight. 

  
And for the first time all day, Tony smiled. And then gladly proceeded to make kids across the nation do too.


End file.
